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relaxedninja

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 4:17am) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2801
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>laurenboo1023</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:28pm<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:22am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:58am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:37am<b>bellesuore</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ElizabethJackson</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:02pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:00am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 5:29am<b>Rule27</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:11pm<b>emirie</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 6:25pm

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relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (67137)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39428) - you deserved it (17215)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13767) - you deserved it (88860)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13767) - you deserved it (88860)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11559) - you deserved it (110422)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24223) - you deserved it (109048)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14616) - you deserved it (55579)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

#2787428
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8014) - you deserved it (42317)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by parkinglotslayer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

#2655831
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60160) - you deserved it (6811)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML

#2655825
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (6379)

On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML

#2652874
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50186) - you deserved it (20736)

On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70413) - you deserved it (4826)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54350) - you deserved it (42461)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56042) - you deserved it (2723)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130994) - you deserved it (8552)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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