Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 2:35pm) | Search for a member
About relaxedninja : ???
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddently interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015