Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Search for a member

relaxedninja
  • Town/Country : Canada, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2325
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's last visitors

Victormoonpumbocmcm_3MisterCrosstea_breweralexmac222Rule27emiriegabylikescheese

relaxedninja's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (6233)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My Boss' daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much she made an offer on the house. We were 1 week away from making an offer. FML

#3729868
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (27176)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:16pm - money - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67978) - you deserved it (5796)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my bosses came into work and told me that they had seen my dad's twin in the supermarket holding hands and kissing a much younger woman and her baby. My dad doesn't have a twin. FML

#3624810
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45188) - you deserved it (1575)

On 07/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by tor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

#3591095
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (5925)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111115) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

#3484345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (4839)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (6608)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54253) - you deserved it (4057)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML

#3261823
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8688) - you deserved it (32642)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by zyordz (man) - Peru (Huanuco)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74341) - you deserved it (10288)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (53222)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (53222)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (16877)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: