About relaxedninja : ???
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
relaxedninja's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML
by TowelSinger / 02/12/2012 at 3:07am / Miscellaneous
by Mrs. Man / 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by oldsoulyoungbody / 01/30/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/08/2012 at 7:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
by oops / 11/30/2011 at 9:15am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Jane / 11/24/2011 at 8:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 10:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…