Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 6:18pm) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5453
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About relaxedninja : ???

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>fabs1171</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:36am<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:39am<b>starlinks898</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:18pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:10am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:32am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:53am<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:33am<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:42am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:33am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:58pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:06am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:54am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:10am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:44pm<b>countrygirl09199</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:12pm<b>iamkats</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:41am

Fucked!<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:29pm<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:42am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:06pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (1883)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (4938)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (3315)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18269) - you deserved it (3014)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6987) - you deserved it (68851)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (3086)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (6119)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31319) - you deserved it (3026)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (4320)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8495) - you deserved it (105956)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19664) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

#19730976
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (6239)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:05am - love - by Stolemylady - Australia

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28566) - you deserved it (11611)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: