Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2997
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>noah_1234</b> - 11 hours ago<b>BlazeArmy</b> - 13 hours ago<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:16am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>laurenboo1023</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:28pm<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:22am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:58am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:37am<b>bellesuore</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ElizabethJackson</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:02pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70762) - you deserved it (4957)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23646) - you deserved it (50420)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

#14009282
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (4126)

On 11/28/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, seeing Ozzy Osbourne live for the first time, I was trying to get the perfect photo of the entire band on stage. That is, until a sudden burst of pyrotechnics startled me, and I gave myself a black eye from the camera hitting me in the face. FML

#13982086
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (8543)

On 11/26/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (6779)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (6779)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML

#13959024
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (7483)

On 11/24/2010 at 5:55am - money - by hoogimo -

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (48399)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

#13865567
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (4634)

On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27565) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

#13854303
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you deserved it (29828)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

#13825716
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (27363)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (3403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (9815)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: