Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2920
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>LittleBells</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>laurenboo1023</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:28pm<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:22am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:58am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:37am<b>bellesuore</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ElizabethJackson</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:02pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:00am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 5:29am

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you deserved it (20830)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55797) - you deserved it (7147)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

#21204164
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (14882)

On 07/09/2014 at 4:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23738) - you deserved it (55642)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (3454)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48443) - you deserved it (5328)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51969) - you deserved it (7802)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (3934)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (24677)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (6819)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38938) - you deserved it (10397)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: