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relaxedninja

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relaxedninja
  • Town/Country : Canada, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

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relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

#19887326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by BunniesOnAcid - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

#19886014
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (7951)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

#19882895
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12527) - you deserved it (3723)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

#19877296
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16694) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (3754)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16462) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

#19856558
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1108)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (1338)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (4223)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

#19824729
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (2919)

On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)



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