relaxedninja

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Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 8:59pm)

relaxedninja

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8209
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About relaxedninja : ???

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>autiger0612</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 9:53pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:08am<b>doubled01</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 12:55am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 3:07am<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:24pm<b>fabs1171</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:36am<b>starlinks898</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:10am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:32am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:53am<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:33am<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:42am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:58pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:06am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:54am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:10am

Fucked!<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:29pm<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:42am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:06pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

by playdated / 06/06/2014 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

by nikaea / 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

by phuckbukket7 / 04/27/2014 at 6:08pm / United States / Love

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health