Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

redtear

Search for a member

redtear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 March 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3548
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

redtear's page activity

Visits<b>Halpak</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 3:05am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:35am<b>kkt1209</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:09am<b>D6a7v3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 9:16pm<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 7:53am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:01am<b>josephramayrat</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 9:55pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:29pm<b>norzkenolzn</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 5:08am<b>valerieodonnell</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:55am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:06pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:14am

redtear's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

redtear's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80676) - you deserved it (7000)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (119229)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

#4278303
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by CzechMeOut (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53454) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (18973)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49793) - you deserved it (7136)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51450) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63748) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61453) - you deserved it (9861)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67342) - you deserved it (15399)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60848) - you deserved it (18121)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13482) - you deserved it (50821)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12381) - you deserved it (38925)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (13473)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: