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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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redtear

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redtear
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1983 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 2556
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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redtear's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59773) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

#4403752 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (75396) - you deserved it (2062)

On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by redbluegreen (woman) - United States (Oregon)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (14625) - you deserved it (76732)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

#4278303 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by CzechMeOut (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (41686) - you deserved it (1998)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (5106)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (2288)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (50532) - you deserved it (2132)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (6374)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56415) - you deserved it (11333)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (46476) - you deserved it (12641)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (35573)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (25055)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (9232)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)