redtear

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redtear

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 March 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3797
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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redtear's page activity

Visits<b>tyee47</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 2:57pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:11pm<b>bossman20056</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:11am<b>Halpak</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 3:05am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:35am<b>D6a7v3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 3:34pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 9:16pm<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 10:43pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 7:53am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:01am<b>josephramayrat</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 9:55pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 6:29pm<b>norzkenolzn</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 5:08am<b>valerieodonnell</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:55am

Fucked!<b>bossman20056</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 5:11am

redtear's FML badges

It’s in the can

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redtear's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

by redbluegreen / 08/09/2009 at 5:26am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

by Cowan / 08/06/2009 at 8:27am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

by CzechMeOut / 08/04/2009 at 9:19am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

by superfiedman / 08/04/2009 at 4:40am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

by Ouchithurt / 08/04/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

by BrokenVow / 07/30/2009 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 6:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

by HorrorByrd / 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was romantically cuddling with my boyfriend. He looked deep into my eyes, stared lovingly at me, and said, "I never noticed, but you have the most adorable freckles on your face..." Blushing, I tilted my head to the side. He then said, "Oh, never mind, those are just your blackheads." FML

by acnegirl / 07/26/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love