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redstone7693

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redstone7693

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 July 2000 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About redstone7693 : You know what they say, procrastination is like masturbation. Fells good when you're doing it, but in the end you're just fucking yourself.

redstone7693's page activity

Visits<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:46am<b>_u7m</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:55pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>lewisAW123</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:55pm<b>cj213</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:51pm<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:28pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:11pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:55am<b>soccer_isbae</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:22pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>brooke1113</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:06pm<b>walnutisacat</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:21pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:41pm<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:21am<b>tmacc96</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>mathen</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:12am<b>Timpa70</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:02am<b>TroyAllen2995</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:32am

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100 kick ass comments

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redstone7693's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (9612)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (48328)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (3287)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (8403)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (5124)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31053) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (12664)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (5256)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (5101)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329) - you deserved it (7824)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38760) - you deserved it (5547)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (2525)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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