redshoeblacklace

Search for a member

redshoeblacklace

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4251
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

redshoeblacklace's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:23pm<b>Skittlebitches</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 3:54am<b>JellyDildos</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 10:09pm

redshoeblacklace's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

redshoeblacklace's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

by ohemmgeee / 12/31/2010 at 6:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

by ihateteenagers / 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

by caempa / 12/29/2010 at 1:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 4:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 12:54am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

by hahahano / 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous