About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (6580)
On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (8214)
On 05/30/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52261) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (4301)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)
Today, after having not used my laptop since January because I thought it was broken, I found out that the key lock has been on the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (6156)
On 05/28/2011 at 9:56pm - misc - by shouldhavecheckedthelock (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (2182)
On 05/28/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by mperh - United States
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12040) - you deserved it (43478)
On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (5655)
On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6696) - you deserved it (35396)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2464)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11724) - you deserved it (54921)
On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
I agree, your life sucks (85908) - you deserved it (10947)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -
Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52006) - you deserved it (12441)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by mehdi-online -
Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (63683)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by RaYan -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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