About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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redrumbear's favorite FMLs
by Macy / 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm / Italy (Lazio) / Miscellaneous
by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
by sickbaby / 06/11/2011 at 9:06am / Singapore / Health
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by dadisgoatboy / 06/11/2011 at 2:37am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Intimacy
by 8sq / 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
by PizzaBoySwag / 06/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work
by amf / 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…