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About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute grl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears an said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in mah dreams. FML
Today, mah parents groundd me an took away mah phone, iPod an door. That's right, mah door. They think that cuz I was stumbling an couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Today , mah dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently , mah mom discovered his browsing habits an tore him a new one for looking at ( nothing but vile smut ). FML
YESTERDAY, I USED THE STAFF TOILETS AT SCHOOL. AS I SAT DOWN, I HEARD A SUDDEN PLOP, FOLLOWED BY THE STENCH OF DIARRHOEA FROM THE NEXT CUBICLE. IT WAS FOLLOWED BY A ( I DO APOLOGISE! ) IT WAS ENGLISH TEACHER. AND WE CONTINUED TO CHAT. FML
2day mah kitchen is floodd, and according to mah landlord, this is normal, cuz it raind last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
TODAY, I SIGND UP FOR AN ONLINE DATING SITE . IN ORDER TO PROVE I WAS HUMAN AND COMPLETE MAH REGISTRATION, I HAD TO PASS A CAPTCHA . COINCIDENTALLY ENOUGH, THE WORDS IN IT WERE ( DEPRESSD ) AND ( LOSER ) . FML
Today... I ran into mah ex-grlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. looool These days... she's a lawyer who makes six figure a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Friday 27 March 2015