About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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redrumbear's favorite FMLs
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
by OopsMonkey / 09/13/2011 at 9:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by stillkindahorny / 09/13/2011 at 1:51am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by Marty / 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
by Trimacle / 08/24/2011 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML
by notsomuch / 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by James / 07/31/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by cutiekenz21 / 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by talwin / 07/27/2011 at 12:05am / Reserved / Money
by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy
by IAmACoolCat / 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
by eatmywords / 07/05/2011 at 3:06am / Singapore / Love
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
by Stacy / 07/05/2011 at 12:04am / United States / Work
Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML
by brittbrat4 / 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…