About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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redrumbear's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by insulted / 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by insanitycalling / 10/26/2011 at 2:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML
by Helmet / 10/20/2011 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by dinosaucer / 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Emmy / 10/02/2011 at 2:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…