About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.
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redrumbear's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work
by bathtime / 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 5:09am / Australia / Intimacy
by sammyxoxo / 12/18/2011 at 3:32am / Canada / Animals
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
by Sedici / 12/18/2011 at 2:44am / United States / Transportation
by metallicatime / 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Santa / 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
by aceshot97 / 12/06/2011 at 9:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by OCDrunk / 11/23/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML
by I quit / 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Washington) / Work
- Today, my mom accidentally hit my dog. She didn't see him and she felt so bad. She started cuddling… Today, I met the girl I've always wanted. She's cute, adorable, nice, and we have a lot in common.… Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained…