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redrumbear

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redrumbear
  • Town/Country : Some Random City, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 807
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.

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redrumbear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

#18578540
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12258) - you deserved it (59724)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:23am - work - by insomnia (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (4228)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (11845)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

#18542269
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (2232)

On 12/18/2011 at 3:32am - animals - by sammyxoxo - Canada

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44739) - you deserved it (1986)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34388) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68927)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (6550)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (5012)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)



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