redrumbear

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redrumbear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2075
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About redrumbear : Read everything I say in the voice of Stewie, and you shall be forever entertained.

redrumbear's page activity

Visits<b>rabechan</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 5:21pm<b>Kyuubi_Rose</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:42am<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 2:49pm<b>posko</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 1:35pm<b>RogueX7</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 4:14am

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redrumbear's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

by CantPublish / 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

by ari / 03/19/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

by smith / 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom (York) / Health

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

by needanewphone / 01/22/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML

by elijahrobrt / 01/07/2012 at 1:48am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what its like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2012 at 1:30am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

by mark / 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous