About redhedsaysrawr : meow.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16544) - you deserved it (1444)
On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States
Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (1446)
On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (2959)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15276) - you deserved it (3480)
On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (5476)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (4583)
On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)
Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (1980)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (6207)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (32421)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (1431)
On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13960) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (2113)
On 08/07/2012 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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