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redheadedmonster

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redheadedmonster

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1580
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About redheadedmonster : I'm a nerdy, pervy, dirty, curvy sarcastic asshole who loves to laugh at stupid people.

I have a couple major rules though....

1. Just don't bother messaging me. I won't respond.
2. I'm not here to make friends. I have enough friends. I'm here to laugh at idiots.
3. Yes I know when I make a typo. It has already pissed me off way before it did you and cell phones are a mother fuckin bitch tit.
4. I never have enough sleep so I know I have the tendency to not make a lot of sense.
5. Your pain makes me laugh so suck it up princess.

redheadedmonster's page activity

Visits<b>Arnoud</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Levi32</b> - 7 hours ago<b>gunner88</b> - 9 hours ago<b>s1s1</b> - 9 hours ago<b>igg125</b> - 10 hours ago<b>tin_cup</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ndnpride88</b> - 11 hours ago<b>pred8885</b> - yesterday at 10:09am<b>courtzzz23</b> - yesterday at 10:17pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:48am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:10am<b>mrsmikelowrey</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:52am<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:29pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:09pm<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:46pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:19am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:48am

Fucked!<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:25am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 11:33pm<b>GingerRoot</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:42pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:36pm<b>gopi</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:52am<b>moiqbal</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:17pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:42pm<b>dudeguy1989</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:48pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:14am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:45pm<b>tryingtobewitty</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:33am<b>Buddalish</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:09pm

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redheadedmonster's favorite FMLs

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (2532)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

#21509521
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (8203)

On 12/30/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by hakuna_matata (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML

#21500134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

#21490397
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm - kids - by Kidsthesedays (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

#21489395
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:55pm - kids - by Nuts (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law turned up at my doorstep close to midnight, drunk off her tits, crying about how my wife is punishing her and throwing her life away by marrying me. FML

#21470151
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (1468)

On 09/19/2015 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (1561)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22203) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (31093)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

#21441279
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (2224)

On 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm - health - by wintersoldier - Austria

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2223)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)



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