redhairgirl

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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 5:58am)

redhairgirl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 395
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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redhairgirl's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

by cricha4208 / 04/15/2014 at 10:01am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

by foreveralone / 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

by owl + bungee cord / 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

by katerina / 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm / France / Health