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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (23771)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75560) - you deserved it (4139)
On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (109276)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you deserved it (85165)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57451) - you deserved it (14076)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147571) - you deserved it (8930)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (50621)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14878) - you deserved it (49618)
On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15066) - you deserved it (2443)
On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19316) - you deserved it (1290)
On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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