Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

redblueflame

Search for a member

redblueflame
  • Town/Country : Tampa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's last visitors

JoelsLastNightmustalineXPhoenixFireJeeper4LifeFedergirlkrupa1017thefellaharewindellCptBarkerzjjohnston

redblueflame's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of redblueflame's badges

redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42896) - you deserved it (7341)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (11320)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (18509)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40990) - you deserved it (2718)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43549) - you deserved it (4601)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28763) - you deserved it (9647)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54102) - you deserved it (3407)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (4831)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37154) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (11128)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (78127)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (21962)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: