Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

redblueflame

Search for a member

redblueflame
  • Town/Country : Tampa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1207
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's last visitors

JoelsLastNightmustalineXPhoenixFireJeeper4LifeFedergirlkrupa1017thefellaharewindellCptBarkerzjjohnston

redblueflame's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of redblueflame's badges

redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (6307)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (9879)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49633) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44334) - you deserved it (4781)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (2834)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

#20979319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37021) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm - health - by wheezy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

#20979287
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (3750)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by reallyhighschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (24128)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (46827)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

#20977142
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (2253)

On 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm - animals - by HereKittyKitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (3167)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
101 comments

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (36488)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: