Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

redblueflame

Search for a member

redblueflame
  • Town/Country : Tampa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1216
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's last visitors

JoelsLastNightmustalineXPhoenixFireJeeper4LifeFedergirlkrupa1017thefellaharewindellCptBarkerzjjohnston

redblueflame's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of redblueflame's badges

redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6176) - you deserved it (23465)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (18872)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50855) - you deserved it (8812)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (8535)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16731) - you deserved it (6212)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (7241)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (4947)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14674) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (4926)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (6128)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18645) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34510) - you deserved it (27581)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4093) - you deserved it (25133)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: