Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

redblueflame

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

redblueflame

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2403
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's page activity

Visits<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:22am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:06pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:36pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:54pm<b>GripItRight</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:03am<b>v8nick97</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:28am<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:22pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:22pm<b>mustaline</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:53pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 8:02pm<b>CANADIANCREEPER</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:33am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:50pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 9:23pm<b>thefella</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 8:17pm<b>hare</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 11:55pm

redblueflame's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of redblueflame's badges

redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

#5655970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11550) - you deserved it (37784)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

#5554431
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6505) - you deserved it (28584)

On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (6108)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (5061)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19987) - you deserved it (3378)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40257) - you deserved it (22774)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53900) - you deserved it (8024)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63168) - you deserved it (9238)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

#4448908
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46963) - you deserved it (18796)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Teamarie (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9277) - you deserved it (95077)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49684) - you deserved it (6437)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

#3978277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (7287)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by Prego my ego - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: