redblueflame

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Offline (the 05/21/2016 at 11:00pm)

redblueflame

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6172
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About redblueflame : Just a girl who enjoys funny things. What else do you need to know ? :)

redblueflame's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:14pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:17am<b>draftskink</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:40am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:01am<b>Scarface408</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:01pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:57am<b>marko1596</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:00pm<b>hellopenny</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:23pm<b>kiante99</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:22am<b>Epiccake</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:06pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:36pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:54pm<b>GripItRight</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:03am<b>v8nick97</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:28am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:27am

redblueflame's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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redblueflame's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? / 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Kids

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

by Terminator101101 / 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

by windshitwipers / 05/30/2013 at 5:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous