red1355

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red1355

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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red1355's page activity

Visits<b>gunnerette</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 3:09pm<b>lovinlife028</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:27pm<b>TheJessica10022</b> - the 03/08/2012 at 2:42pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/08/2011 at 1:47am<b>alival</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 9:09pm<b>twiins</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 12:34am<b>Fnyrri</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 7:19am

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red1355's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

by myjobsucks / 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous