reborndarkangel

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reborndarkangel

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 October 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 617
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About reborndarkangel : I am an open book

reborndarkangel's page activity

Visits<b>purplekitty09</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:26pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:58pm<b>hotrodharly4</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:06pm

reborndarkangel's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Judgmental

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reborndarkangel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

by colorguard13 / 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2013 at 12:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

by kblevss / 01/05/2013 at 4:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy