About rebellovesong : Sorry my username sucks. I was a scenie when I created this profile. I actually hate BVB now.
rebellovesong's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
rebellovesong's favorite FMLs
by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML
by TMI / 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 6:42am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML
by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 11:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML
by anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
by Brastro / 04/07/2009 at 7:46am / Ireland (Kildare) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
by imsorrytimmy / 04/02/2009 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…