About rebellovesong : Sorry my username sucks. I was a scenie when I created this profile. I actually hate BVB now.
rebellovesong's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
rebellovesong's favorite FMLs
by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
by wish his dad had worn one / 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
by N O / 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML
by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude / 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…