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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , a one-eyd drunken homeless man followd me around the store I work at , screaming at me cuz I turnd down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out cuz they thought it was funny. FML
2day I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week . We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy . Great, my dog is a racist . FML
TODAY IT WAS MAH UNCLE'S FUNERAL . I WASN'T VERY CLOSE WITH HIM , BUT I STILL WANTED TO BE RESPECTFUL . MY BOYFRIEND , BIENG THE JACKASS THAT HE IS , WAS SINGING THE SPIDER PIG SONG FROM THE SIMPSONS UNDER HIS BREATH WHILE MAKING HIS FINGERS WALK UP MAH LEG , TRYING TO GET UNDER MAH SKIRT . REAL FML
Today, I was worrid about mah brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
today I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assurd me that I could pull out. Righthen I was about to pull out, she wrappd her legs around me and yelld, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, Mah Boyfriend Broke Up With Me. I Cried And Told Him That I Loved Him. He Gave Me A Quarter And Told Me To Call Someone Who Cared. I Threw The Quarter In His Face And Ran. I Waited For The Bus, But When I Got On, I Realized I Was 25 Cents Short Of The Fare. I Walked Home In The Rain. FML
Friday 27 March 2015