reapr03

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reapr03

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  • Number of visits : 14203
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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reapr03's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 8:08am

reapr03's FML badges

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The Mixer

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reapr03's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my biology class TA, who takes the class alongside the other students, was always so eager to collect my work. Turns out, she's been erasing my name on my papers and writing hers in all semester. My failing final grade has already been finalized. FML

by natural selection i guess / 12/09/2016 at 4:02am / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

by Natsert99 / 12/08/2016 at 9:02am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

by Junkrat / 12/08/2016 at 8:32am / Intimacy

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

by perverted teenage girl / 11/29/2016 at 4:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML

by Kelly / 11/29/2016 at 1:57pm / Kids

Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML

by ginkobiloba / 11/29/2016 at 6:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

by Wanaaa / 11/25/2016 at 2:08am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML

by Florida / 11/23/2016 at 10:04pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his "far superior" Excel skills. I'm now teaching him how to do the job that I didn't get. FML

by luceeloo / 11/23/2016 at 5:10pm / Work

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

by Husband / 11/22/2016 at 9:33am / United States (District of Columbia) / Holidays

Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML

by saracenslament / 11/22/2016 at 6:47am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML

by Alaska fire / 11/19/2016 at 5:14pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job in a pub, I was cleaning the pub garden ready for closedown. There was a girl crouched on the floor under a table. By the time I'd realised what she was doing and turned around, she'd already finished, apologised, and left me to clean up her piss. FML

by wtfamidoing98 / 11/19/2016 at 2:54pm / United Kingdom (Ceredigion) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I understand the finer points of the government in Star Wars better than I understand the U.S. government. FML

by nerd / 11/19/2016 at 2:52pm / Geek