Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rcloca

Search for a member

rcloca

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6781
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About rcloca : Yes that is my puppy. Now stop stalking me.

rcloca's page activity

Visits<b>2potato4u</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:23am<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:01am<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:01pm<b>mattrd</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:20am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:18pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:33am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:35pm<b>CoolCat98</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 4:53pm<b>kellygranada</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:45pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 11:52am<b>euge741</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 3:28am<b>ak_breeze</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:45am<b>drCrustula</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:34pm<b>pumcin1</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:10pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 7:52pm<b>badbitchxx</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 9:25pm

rcloca's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of rcloca's badges

rcloca's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37835) - you deserved it (7776)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14477) - you deserved it (34375)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (19195)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (47376)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9474) - you deserved it (33209)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (5093)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (36220)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (6393)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36086) - you deserved it (2785)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

#19429984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (8450)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (3169)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (9452)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: