Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rcloca

Search for a member

rcloca

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11163
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About rcloca : Yes that is my puppy. Now stop stalking me.

rcloca's page activity

Visits<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:47pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:25am<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:36pm<b>avoriginiess</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:27am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:50am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:42am<b>hunkychunk</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:19pm<b>petrickh5561</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:59am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:15pm<b>andfyourstoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:24pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:56pm<b>johnlockshipper</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:01am<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:01pm<b>mattrd</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:20am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:18pm<b>HiveMindFury</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:33am

rcloca's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of rcloca's badges

rcloca's favorite FMLs

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (4775)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42014) - you deserved it (6253)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (5613)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (2742)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

#19490295
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (9570)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42165) - you deserved it (3920)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (24817)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (24817)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (5566)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (5566)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (5566)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42311) - you deserved it (3109)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

#19470748
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (45638)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (59109) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (8490)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: