About rcloca : Yes that is my puppy. Now stop stalking me.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomache area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (46134)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57280) - you deserved it (5247)
On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52803) - you deserved it (3417)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54320) - you deserved it (8431)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15073) - you deserved it (71762)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54059) - you deserved it (15122)
On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66023) - you deserved it (1870)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45928) - you deserved it (3295)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45928) - you deserved it (3295)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (56363)
On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72278) - you deserved it (2650)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72572) - you deserved it (4689)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47184) - you deserved it (7058)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Marine (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53056) - you deserved it (20153)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72421) - you deserved it (13938)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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