About razzledazzle21 : Live and learn.
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razzledazzle21's favorite FMLs
by shitlicker / 12/07/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 4:17am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2015 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
by Johnny / 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
by Creeped / 09/27/2012 at 4:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know… Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We… Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex…