About razzledazzle21 : Live and learn.
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razzledazzle21's favorite FMLs
by shitlicker / 12/07/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 4:17am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2015 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by zl5 / 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work
by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
by Johnny / 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch / 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
by Creeped / 09/27/2012 at 4:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest… Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She… Today, it was me and my husband's anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You…
- Today, I went out to get a coffee while there was a flash flood warning. On my way home I noticed… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, my sister told me to mind my own business when I freaked out about the used tampon she keeps…