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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (29523)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32183) - you deserved it (6867)
On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (7013)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (2543)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13188) - you deserved it (2319)
On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved
Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (18050)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (41191)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58289) - you deserved it (2625)
On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13441) - you deserved it (58159)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (61546)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (5257)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (1908)
On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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