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rayquaza5000

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rayquaza5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5171
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

rayquaza5000's FML badges

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rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (5497)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38396) - you deserved it (3357)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (8251)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

#17762644
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16801) - you deserved it (47061)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (2176)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

#17737171
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23827) - you deserved it (5554)

On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

#17734808
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (4838)

On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (9431)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (4202)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (3548)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (32916)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26823) - you deserved it (3049)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85413) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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