Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rayquaza5000

Search for a member

rayquaza5000

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5037
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

rayquaza5000's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of rayquaza5000's badges

rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (11346)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (11346)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

#17810951
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (6772)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:16am - intimacy - by kdmoney - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (5382)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

#17803016
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (4852)

On 09/22/2011 at 6:31am - love - by nicole - Reserved

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45634) - you deserved it (8186)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3201)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (5469)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (35626) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

#17787431
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (7452)

On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (8072)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (8194)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50776) - you deserved it (6085)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

#17781243
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15523) - you deserved it (39733)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:16pm - misc - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10290) - you deserved it (39646)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: