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rayquaza5000

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rayquaza5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5190
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

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rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML

#17958984
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (7739)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:22am - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (5864)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (24633)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a root canal, I went to the pharmacy for some pain killers. The cute girl behind the counter asked what I needed. When I opened my mouth to tell her, a wave of drool hurtled out and splattered on the counter. FML

#17952669
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32217) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:44pm - love - by maninpain - Kenya

Today, while at Six Flags my boyfriend won a huge stuffed animal for me. After a whole day of carrying it around, when he dropped me off he told me that he wants the stuffed animal back. He just didn't want to carry it around all day. FML

#17950991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/10/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14306) - you deserved it (39574)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (19968)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36211) - you deserved it (10978)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12774) - you deserved it (39789)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31746) - you deserved it (5050)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML

#17891002
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (39987)

On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (4540)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (6103)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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