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rayquaza5000

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rayquaza5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4881
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

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rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

#18004250
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (3550)

On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML

#17999890
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (7162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by poluxe - France

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (4979)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

#17989698
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (2832)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (7516)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (5175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

#17979790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (49170)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

#17977433
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (10601)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32941) - you deserved it (9113)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

#17969819
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (25859)

On 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm - health - by omgreally91 (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11705) - you deserved it (41550)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33843) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

#17965139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5433) - you deserved it (43519)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Beaky (woman) - Canada

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (11770)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)



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