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rayquaza5000

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rayquaza5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5155
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

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rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (51097)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (9561)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20005) - you deserved it (41697)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

#17547713
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by rene - United States (Texas)

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

#17545314
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (3825)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:38am - kids - by Danielle - United States (New York)

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

#17534903
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45671) - you deserved it (2192)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28695) - you deserved it (37701)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (5765)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

#17527227
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (2352)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:20am - love - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (69378)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML

#17522929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you deserved it (10756)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:22pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (7976)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)



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