Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rayquaza5000

Search for a member

rayquaza5000
  • Town/Country : Singapore, Singapore
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4691
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of rayquaza5000's badges

rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 97-year-old Grandma has an imaginary 30-year-old boyfriend. I laughed until my mom said, "She's still doing better than you. You don't even have an imaginary boyfriend, let alone a real one." FML

#17685680
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (8635)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:30am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

#17680068
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (2048)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by lopsided - United States

Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML

#17677583
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/06/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by grossedout - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (6008)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

#17663031
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (2201)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by ohaifml - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

#17661200
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (15329)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm - love - by inlovewithstupid (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (5322)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32731) - you deserved it (8860)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10591) - you deserved it (39652)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

#17655744
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (2255)

On 09/03/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by haha - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20153) - you deserved it (27814)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (35099)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (7414)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: