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rayquaza5000

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rayquaza5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4840
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayquaza5000 : I love reading FMLs late at night. ;P

rayquaza5000's page activity

Visits<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:01pm

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rayquaza5000's favorite FMLs

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

#18493088
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (5317)

On 12/12/2011 at 8:45am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24751) - you deserved it (15985)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (3417)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (3528)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

#18473863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (4373)

On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (10783)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (15573)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17725) - you deserved it (40328)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (4880)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33328) - you deserved it (4643)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (4093)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (5857)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)



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