rayannaanderson

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rayannaanderson

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 403
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About rayannaanderson : That's me up there mutha fuckah

rayannaanderson's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

rayannaanderson's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

by Mrs. Man / 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

by kingpig / 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

by MM / 02/02/2012 at 9:50am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML

by carssuck / 02/02/2012 at 5:28am / United States / Money

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

by DieTrying / 02/02/2012 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

by Insomniac / 02/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

by 11niko / 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

by Bruce / 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm / Kids

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

by mareda / 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm / United Kingdom / Love