rawdrums

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Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 11:57pm)

rawdrums

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 806
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rawdrums's page activity

Visits<b>kerrwoof</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 10:39pm

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rawdrums's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

by unlicensed / 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Midlothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Infiltrator4444 / 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

by *facefloor* / 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm / United States / Health

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

by Jessi / 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

by owwwww / 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love