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rawdrums

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rawdrums
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  • Number of visits : 256
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rawdrums's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (4525)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5746) - you deserved it (22904)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML

#19848525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (2370)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

#19836485
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (1327)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Melinie - United States

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18111) - you deserved it (6259)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5758) - you deserved it (62913)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (2695)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2197)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (2137)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3666)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15642) - you deserved it (11760)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (7856)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (2228)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia



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