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Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (21143)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (5216)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (5221)
On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (2742)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (2725)
On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40377) - you deserved it (20174)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (5245)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50332) - you deserved it (13667)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (40125)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62280) - you deserved it (2921)
On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States
Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (44183)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (3059)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (4050)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (11547)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (50602)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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