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rasengan1544's FML badges
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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rasengan1544's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by spekledworf / 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML
by Joe / 08/27/2012 at 9:33am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/27/2012 at 3:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by S. / 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm / Estonia / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 08/26/2012 at 1:03am / New Zealand (Southland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
by bummerdood / 08/26/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Health
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by chrisbravo / 08/23/2012 at 2:54am / United States / Money
- Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his… Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By… Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and…