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rasengan1544's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
rasengan1544's favorite FMLs
Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
by Bitchjackedmyball / 09/12/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML
by stadams1024 / 09/11/2012 at 4:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
by NotDrunk / 09/11/2012 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Kids
by mrs14 / 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2012 at 6:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by darawbs / 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 2:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was… Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said "I'm cheap and… Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.…